The PakNSave Laser Work Station of Death, Part 1

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Quote of the Day (Lord Bacon)


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Anomalies in Colin Craig’s Poem Invoice to Cameron Slater

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It’s an opinion amongst some people, that CC lives in a fantasy world increasingly disconnected from reality. Some have even suggested mental illness (but I couldn’t possible comment). A number of things point to that possible conclusion:

• The revelations over “Mr X” and “Interviewer;”
• CC’s ongoing pattern of stumbles and persistence in digging a deeper hole via the media;
• weird letters and emails;
• nine, or is it now ten? defamation suits against several people;
• universal public comment on Twitter;
• childish adamant denials in the face of clear evidence to the contrary;
• a joyous desire to go on all and every media to discuss these private matters in the public spectrum;
• online news stories and editorials by senior journalists as each new bizarre misstep of this saga plays out; among other things.

As George Washington once said, “Truth will ultimately prevail where pains are taken to bring it to light” which I read somewhere.

“Mr X” was imaginary. There was an imaginary “relationship.”  “Inappropriate behavior” was supposed to be imaginary, but wasn’t. Colin imagined he would keep secret that he was “Mr X” and “Interviewer” all-at-once; and goodness knows what else.  Now Colin and Helen Craig have invented an invoice for a company that doesn’t seem to exist.  “Craig and Craig” is a business address for one of Colin’s (not Helen’s) companies, activities he’s involved with around a central service (body corporate management). These are the companies Helen is a director/shareholder in:

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He and Helen don’t own the buildings, he’s not a “property developer” as such. When he says he “manages several billion in assets” he means he administers the body corporate arrangements of some buildings owned by other people (amounting collectively to billions). Like working at an airport that is worth 100 million by someone else.

Craig and Craig.”

This “company,” or more likely a legally registered partnership (it appears no where on the NZ Companies Register), has invoiced Cameron Slater/Whaleoil  for the use of a poem Colin earlier said was a fabrication. CC now effectively concedes via the invoice, that he wrote the poem to a young woman not his wife (Oops). He OWNS IT!  Even worse, He AND HELEN own it. That is certainly what the media concluded yesterday…”Colin Craig claims ownership of poem allegedly written for former…”   and also here).

Asked by the media yesterday if this was an admission he wrote the poem, he said he had “no comment to make on that.” Reality disconnect as above.

Which has an interesting corollary. CC inferred to Grandma Quilts that she was guilty of a thing because she had not denied it. “I appreciate the honesty in your response…in that you have not denied making them” (Colin Craig speaking to Grandma Quilts). Using the same standard, Craig not denying being author of the poem MAKES HIM THE AUTHOR OF THE POEM. And Helen Craig is a joint-owner and it’s an asset of their business partnership.

Weird on Weird.

W.Oil published the poem (at bottom) on 19 June, 15 minutes before Colin “resigned/stepped down-subject-to-review” (his review, of himself, with colleagues like me and Christie Rankin actively excluded in writing, i.e. in a “secret memo” – more imaginary things). CC resigned on 19 June not July as stated in error by Granny Herald yesterday.  But HERE’S THE THING…

 Strange Facts of the ‘Craig & Craig’ Invoice to Cameron Slater.

1. WHY is a business partnership entity of Colin and his wife Helen Ruth Craig invoicing Slater for a romantic poem Colin wrote privately to the press secretary of the Conservative Party? Does CC not see that as ironic?

The poem discusses wishing to share himself around with women not his wife, and there are forlorn sentiments about his marriage. Is that a service, a function, of his registered partnership with Helen Ruth Craig?  Do they publish romantic poems of Colin’s to women not his wife? Does he not care about Helen?; is he contemptuous of her feelings, her needs, her honor? The contempt of invoicing his romantic poem IN HER NAME to a third party beggars belief (that disconnect from reality thing).

2. Colin has been accused of “creative accounting” by some people who’ve worked with him over many years (in fact, that is being actively investigated by the Police on top of Police file 150-921/0239 and Police file 150-807/9750, one of which also looks at other accounting irregularities in realign to over matters). It’s odd that the ACTUAL cost of the poem + Gst comes to a round $3000.oo  How can that be?

2. $2608.70 + Gst 391.30= $3000.oo.

3. How is “$2608.70” determined? And on what basis? What elements determine the cost of this royalty for a published poem by Colin Craig (that he has previously denied, and still now won’t confirm) on Whaleoil from 19 June?

4. It’s because this is a contrived amount. The Gst has been worked out backwards after the fact, i.e. x3 ÷ 23.  In other words, Colin just plucked “$3000” out of the air as a monthly charge to Slater, and worked the Gst backwards.  There was never a real cost. How did he get $2608.70 a month for the use of the poem?  What is that made up of? More imaginery things.
5. And look at the invoicing timetable. Why was a slate opened on 1 June 2015 for Slater? For what? Nothing was invoiced for 4 and half months from 19 June till 30 October 2015. Craig knew the poem was published 19 June, and it was up there all that time.  But why was an account opened earlier on 1 June? A pod question for Slater to ask.

It’s because this whole invoice is a complete contrivance.

6. I suggest CC (Helen probably doesn’t even know this exists) only “opened” a slate for Slater on 30 October, not 01 June at all, and he walked the invoicing back to 01 June once the poem was published 19 June.  He likely only decided to do all this on 30 October. We’ve seen this before elsewhere, something the Police, the Electoral Commission and former Centurion staff, Trust Account Managers, and clients have taken a great deal of interest in recently. It has even been the subject of previous Court proceedings that CC lost, and had to pay out for.

7. If the “Craig and Craig” account was opened 01 June, but the ‘Two of Me” poem was only published 19 June by Slater, why was the account opened by Craig and what for, between 01 June – 19 June?  Could Colin foresee the future? What services was C&C anticipating offering to Slater 01 June – 19 June before the poem was published? My brain swells at the possibilities.

8. And WHY is this an asset of C&C anyway?  Is the poem actually written by Colin AND Helen Craig to Rachel MacGregor?  After all, they privately loaned her money, and gave her $56,000 before, during and after toxic employment and sexual harassment wrangles with Ms MacGregor.  ?????

9. “Craig and Craig” is not a company.  It’s the name of an office for “Shore Bins Ltd.”

10. Which poses the Q. Whose is the Gst number registered on the invoice above to Whaleoil?  I’m sure some Marine Mammals of Mischief will enlighten us soon.

Reality as they say, is often stranger than fiction.

And Cameron Slater has just posted this up, have a read of what he has to say about all this.

The Poem Colin Crag wrote to Rachel MacGregor, published inJune 2015.

The Poem Colin Crag wrote to Rachel MacGregor, published inJune 2015.

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Women’s Awards go to Men. “Amen!”

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What is Bruce Jenner holding? Some sort of inter uterine contraceptive device?

I say “Amen” to you sister and your husband! Finger the PC-rubbish brigade.  Speaking of which, the Rubbish Transvestite lampoonery below has become the reality we must endure via PC-Media Inc.  Reality aping comedy and what used to be ridiculous, even to committed liberals and gay men Little Britain. 





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Faces of the Day

Ice Dogs.  One way to defrost the fridge.


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7Best (Shoes as Birds. 3/7)

Originally posted on coNZervative:


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The Hypnotic Power of Mr Craig

“The eyes the eyes look in to my eyes, not around the eyes…”







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Told to Leave Grandma Alone. Colin Doesn’t

BEWARE. Urban and legal warrior.

BEWARE. Urban and legal warrior. ‘Grandma Quilts,’ a nom de plume, unlike the Dirty politics fabrication and falsehood ‘Mr X.’

After a series of Colon Crag emails, what can only be described as delusional and bizarre missives (to me, to ‘Grandma Quilts,’ to Cameron Slater) –actually described by the latter, i.e. Slater, as “the most bizarre email I’ve ever received”– making demands and threats; Grandma Quilts struck back.  She ‘handbagged’ Colin Craig well and proper. Go girl!  Stand up for your liberty!  Or as Churchill said, In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance…”

In that hand-bagging, Craig was told several times to “LEAVE ME ALONE or I’ll go to the Police!”  Colin did not oblige, replying with more unsolicited ‘legal advice’ to Grandma Quilts, who has done nothing. Colon even titled his missive “NOTICE OF DEFAMATION. (2)” and cc’ed it to his wife?  Couldn’t he just look up from the breakfast table and tell her? You’d think he’d take the hint from Grandma. I suspect Policeman Plod may come a-knocking on the Craig manse soon (again) if he persists in harassing Grandma Quilts with his attentions, something that may have come up before (but is currently suppressed in the High Court, or hidden by legal confidentiality, for now).

From: Colin Craig <>
To: [removed].
Cc: ‘Helen Craig’ <>; ‘Steve Plummer’ <>
Sent: Thursday, 19 November 2015 10:42 AM

Good Morning [name omitted].

Thank you for responding.

Just to be clear:

  1. We do hold evidence that you have been corresponding with Mr Stringer.
  2. The allegations have not been taken off the coNZervative blog.
  3. I have explained the context in which the allegations are being made public.
  4. I have also explained the allegations are now part of legal proceedings that will be covered by media.

[What, John Stringer and the lady might be Facebook friends and she ‘liked’ something on his page?  As Slater pointed out when he ran this story, since when is that a crime?]

Also to be clear we do indeed hold evidence that you have made these statements (and others) [but he can’t produce them and hasn’t. And who cares anyway, a Court certainly won’t; but Colin seems to think the High Court of NZ is there to punish people who say things agin his crafted persona.  Gee, my wife was banned and her comments deleted simply for saying “The Emperor has no clothes!” She didn’t mention Colin, so I guess he knew it was him]. and I appreciate the honesty in your response below, in that you have not denied making them.

[“have not denied it”??  –Have you stopped beating your wife yet?- So that makes you guilty?  What singular looney planet is this kind of thinking from? And he’s threatening to go to Court with this?  Seems to me her letter was rather clear, but still Colon believes what he wants to].

It is not harassment to raise issue with statements you are making [no proof she made them] about myself and the company. I and the company are entitled to protect our reputation [If I was Colin, I’d be suing Colin, for causing more harm to Colin, than anyone else lately] and we are entirely within our rights to pursue this matter. If you do wish to complain to Police please ensure they are provided with a full copy of both this and my previous email.

We have given you an opportunity to redress this matter [ie, talking to John Stringer, we think, but we’re not sure] without litigation [sorry, I headed-up both emails “NOTICE OF DEFAMATION”…its just a default template I have on my computer] and that offer remains open until the 25th November 2015. We are happy to meet and discuss this matter with your lawyer if that assists [having harassed you over a previous court case you won, to the point of ill-health and you becoming fearful of ever driving through Albany again. Rii-ght. That would be a box of bunnies get-together].

After that date we will advance the matter [as per the subject line I chose from the beginning] . Please advise your correct address for service (lawyers contact details), if we receive no response from you we will use your home address. [Creepy].

Thank you

Colin Craig.

Stand strong Grandma Quilts.  The public commentary, media, and public are all behind you on this.  Sharpen your Zimmer!

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Cameron Slater Hits Back at C.Craig Bizarro Letter

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 10.24.35 AM[From the wires]. When has Colin Craig NOT learned, that attacking Cameron Slater rather imperiously, which is Colin’s style, would not embroil him in a full-on slap down Western bar fight?  Is he not aware of Whaleoil?  Has he not researched the site, having engaged Cameron Slater in a $650,000 law suit?

Mr Slater hits back at Colin’s letter…

“24 November 2015.  9.00am.

“Dear Colin,

“This has to be the most bizarre email I have ever received. 

Firstly there was never an offer to settle from you, just a list of demands with nothing in return.

The irony of you now invoicing me for the “Two of Me” poem (which you originally alleged was a fabrication) from a company called Craig and Craig is comically genius. 

Was this email written by someone else (perhaps another Colin, one of the two) and a hoax or does this email reflect your reality (or one of them)?

I was wondering if you make a habit of billing media for your ‘works’? Your booklet ‘Dirty Politics and Hidden Agendas’ was certainly a work of fiction the likes of which hasn’t been seen in NZ politics before.

I am also wondering if you and Mrs Craig “agree with every statement or endorse all viewpoints” in your email to me. I ask because you clearly didn’t endorse the comments of the Interviewer (You) or Mr X (also you) according to the statement on the booklet.

On a more serious note, your pamphlet alleged that this material was made up or fabricated, yet now you are invoicing me and claiming ownership of a poem that was published in the public interest sent by yourself to your former press secretary who has alleged that you sexually harassed her. 

Kind Regards, Cam Slater.”


To which he added 46 minutes later…

24 November 2015. 9.47am.


Without even a hint of irony you moan about publicising things before the courts. Yet that is precisely how you like to run matters. 

For you of all people to complain about publicising something before courts confirms that you (or one of you, or perhaps Mr X) really does live in an alternative reality.

It is a shame you don’t understand what truth is, I mean how could you after publishing that fiction of a pamphlet.

Your recollection is a bit wonky as well, but then we know that, after all you interviewed yourself and then stated in a disclaimer that you don’t stand by everything you say.  An interesting position to hold to say the least.

Kind regards, Cam Slater.”

The Poem Colin Crag wrote to Rachel MacGregor, published inJune 2015.

The Poem Colin Crag wrote to Rachel MacGregor, published 19 June 2015.




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Quote of the Day


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